Monday, February 12, 2018

A LOVE STORY


          You could tell there was power, just by looking. His stance was solid and when he moved those around him deferred often in awkward clumsiness. On cold mornings, you could see the steam bellowing from his nostrils as he shook his massive head from side to side. Yet with the power, you could feel the loneliness that accompanied his position in the community. No one dared to talk directly to him. Eye contact was never made. Opposition did not exist even though challenges did humor him from time to time. This was his kingdom, his realm. Even his owner walked with caution around Elmer. There was an understanding of position. Hours were spent alone at the top of his hill. Elmer was a bull’s bull.

          Social ranks had been established within the community. First, of course, was Elmer followed in descending order by the eldest male dog, then the cattle, the sheep, the goats, the rest of the dogs, the cats, the chickens, the field mice, two transient hawks, a duck, the pigs and at the bottom, the farm frog, Irene.

          Irene, like other frogs, had begun her life as a little tadpole. Since she was not really noticeable, Irene demonstrated her shyness by not demonstrating her presence. In fact, there were members of the farm family that did not know that she even existed. For all practicable matters, many felt that the pigs were the lowest form of life and that was that. Consequently, Irene passed many a long day idly sitting on a Lilly pad in the middle of the farm pond. The cattle would come to get a drink and would never acknowledge her.

Fortunately, however, Irene did have one friend, the duck. Known as Quacker III. How they came up with Quacker III is anyone’s mystery. As far as anyone knew, Quacker III was the first and only duck that had ever graced this farm. Likewise, since there weren’t any other ducks around, it was doubtful that there would ever be a Quacker IV. Quacker III had met Irene by accident one spring day while out for his morning swim. Lost in his thoughts Quacker III failed to notice Irene on the Lilly pad and the collision caused quite a commotion. Irene was dumped into the water as Quacker III proceeded to entangle himself in the undergrowth. It was not until Irene dove deep into the pond waters to untie the roots from Quacker III’s feet that Quacker III was able to make his way to the shore. From that day forward the two of them could be found at the pond often discussing their world affairs and the personalities that made up their known environment.

Both of them questioned the positions that the two transient hawks held. After all they were no better than the other itinerant farm workers that came and went as the seasons passed. The most disturbing thing about the situation was that it was obvious that they were with egg and that could only mean more beaks to feed, fewer worms to till the soil and the noise day and night. Further, the unspoken fear was when you looked at the mom and dad you knew that these babies would break the “all babies are cute” rule.

Both Irene and Quacker III had had a run in with Billie the Goat. Sadly, Billie was almost blind and had to be helped around the farm normally by one of the dogs. But typical of his stubborn nature Billie would attempt to make it around on his own. As long as he would stay within his area, everything was fine. However, last week on one of his excursions Billie inadvertently ran into Quacker III. You can well imagine the response. Quacker III quacked, Billie started jumping around and Irene ended up between Billie’s hoof and the ground. The entire farmyard came alive. The dogs circled around Billie who could only tell who they were by their bark. The sheep in turn, came to Billie’s defense because of their closeness in nature and the fact that they remembered that years ago Billie had eaten all the tin cans in the sheep pin. The importance of that matter is that Elmer had told the sheep to either clean up their pin or decide which one of them would be forced to sing “Baa Baa Black Sheep” in front of the entire farm family. Since the sheep were known for their consistent monotone all of them knew that they would rather spend the night being counted by the owner than face the embarrassment of a solo concert.  It looked like the situation was at a stalemate but then Quacker III let out the loudest quack that had ever been heard in the farm. This caused Billie to jump and Irene was freed from under his hoof. Irene quickly hopped to Quacker III’s side. It was at this time that they all heard the distinctive and reverberating steps of Elmer as he descended from his hill. Everyone knew that trouble was on it’s way and they could only think of those days when what seemed innocent to them had somehow irked Elmer to the point of calling a Farm Council. A Farm Council was kind of like a criminal trail where you had to prove that you were innocent rather than the other way around. Irene had moved behind Quacker III’s web feet and started to weep real frog tears.

As Elmer entered the farm yard you could hear a pin drop. Except for Irene’s tiny sobs there was stone cold silence. Even the field mice had curtailed their usual mouse blabber.  Although he never said it, everyone knew just by his look that Elmer wanted to know the cause of all the ruckus and how it would come to an end. Since Quacker III played a major role in attracting Elmer’s attention all eyes moved to the duck. The intent, of course, was to direct Elmer’s cold stare away from them personally. So while Quacker III wasn’t a goose, the farm animals wanted his goose cooked rather than theirs. Elmer, of course, was used to this tactic and slowly walked through the grounds making direct eye contact with each of the animals. In the past this approach would reduce any defense a culprit might have, and the truth would flow out of their mouths like a river. Initially Elmer looked toward the transient hawks. Since they were the most recent arrivals they were naturally suspected of upsetting the domestic tranquility that normally prevailed. The two hawks held each other in a fear only known to other fowl and the husband had gently placed one of his wings over his wife’s belly who by this time was swollen with what might be a double yolk. Elmer could see that they had nothing to hide so he moved on to the dogs. The dogs of the farm came in a variety that could only be matched by an upper end pet store. It goes without saying that the eldest dog received an automatic pass but the preforming, seeing eye, and rescue dogs all were subjected to Elmer’s review. Not seeing any unusual movements among the dogs, he passed by them and the cats were cleared simply because they were standing next to the dogs without any appearance of hostility. Sadly because of limited attention span, the chickens, cattle, pigs, and the field mice had already resumed to their usual activities. Elmer had never really suspected any of them but an appearance of reverence, even for a short period, was good for law and order within the farm structure. Since Billie was basically one of the victims in the farm chaos, Elmer simply walked over to Billie and their noses touched in a sign of mutual respect. In Elmer’s mind this left only one viable suspect, the duck, Quacker III.
Frankly Quacker III could see the writing on the barn wall. He had been disturbed since childhood with visions of his demise. They ranged from being shipped to Peking to simply having the heebeegeebees squeezed out of him and being served as Cold Duck. As Elmer approached Quacker III felt that he had to say goodbye to Irene before the hoof came down. He stepped away from Irene, wiped the little frog tears with his wing from her green cheeks and just as he started to speak he could hear a distinctive bull gasp. Quacker III quickly looked at Elmer who appeared not only frozen but completely star struck. In Elmer’s mind the thoughts were running amuck. He had never seen such dazzling brown eyes coupled with the most symmetrical legs he had ever perceived. He knew all of this was simply crazy because things like this never happened. His owner had introduced him to many potential mates but after one date the farm gate was always shut. On top of everything else, this was a frog. But since love is never logical Elmer found himself conversing with Irene and even though there was an obvious language difference they understood each other completely. Irene was equally smitten. She automatically turned on that hidden frog charm and started hopping between Elmer’s hoofs, but it was only to tease Elmer.
Quacker III was completely confused. Only minutes ago, he was having thoughts of seeing all of his relatives who had flown to the pond in the sky but now his best friend and the ruler of the farm were playing like baby goats in the park. Fortunately, Elmer and Irene maintained enough sense to realize that their meeting and relationship would have never happened if it hadn’t been for Quacker III’s resounding quack. Turning to Quacker III they, in their unique ways, ask him to join them in a march around the farm to announce the inconceivable new order in this farm’s affairs. Sitting proudly between Elmer’s massive horns and with Quacker III waddling proudly by their side, Irene greeted the farm animals with the style and dignity of the finest royalty the world had ever seen.

From that day forward Elmer was a new bull. Each of the animals could freely approach him and every day he would spend at least an hour at the pond while Irene sunbathed. Irene was no longer shy and would happily serve as hostess for all of the official farmyard functions. Likewise, Quacker III replaced the eldest male dog as Elmer’s closest confidant and adviser. In all the valley one could not find a more peaceful farm. It was united in understanding, forgiveness and a true testament that love at first sight is true and real. 

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