Life Lessons from Lower Grade School

Perhaps the first but not the most important lesson that I learned in grade school was that each teacher had one of three first names: Mr., Mrs., or Miss. Mr. was easy enough but the other two could be a little confusing. The most important lesson was that my sister was going to be a hard act to follow. To provide a sense of order in this epistle, I will break the lessons down by the grade at Central Ward School.

First Grade: “Never day dream when you are taking a test”. Early on in the year our teacher gave us a test that contained two parts. The test was easy enough and I quickly went through the first section. Suddenly my mind took me outside to get on the worlds tallest slide and begin the exciting ride down as you could hear the metal in the slide moan and groan as you traveled with increasing speed towards earth. Needless to say, the time for the test was up before I finished my own recess. Since we lived in a small town where everybody knew everybody my teacher called my mother and said that this was performance was so unlike Tommy’s usual work but since she felt so bad about giving me a F perhaps I could retake the test during the next recess. That seemed more than reasonable to me so the next day I stayed in during the recess period ready to take the exam. This time to ensure that I completed the test, I started with the second part first. Unfortunately, our classroom had big windows that looked out on the playground and I could see all of my friends having a wonderful time. Again, my mind played tricks on me and as soon as the recess was over the teacher collected my test before I had a chance to finish. This time she called my Dad at the power plant where he was the City Engineer. The recess retake was again offered but she said that she hoped that Dad would find some way for Tommy to keep his mind focused. Since Dad always felt a need to explain why he was going to spank me, the speech was rather short this time when he told me to never day dream when taking a test. Contrary to a popular myth, I do believe that it hurt me more than it hurt him. The good news is that it worked and I was able to move on to the second grade.

Second grade: “When you start something, you finish it”. Grade school can become such a drag. This is especially true when you have big plans and the drudgery of day to day work on things like the alphabet, addition, subtraction and who know what else gets in the way. The day came in March that I had taken all that I could, so I told all of my friends that I would be going home at noon for lunch and that I wouldn’t be back. Good luck, so long, farewell and some foreign phase that never made much sense. Lunch at our house was a production. My mother would prepare a three-course All-American meal that included meat, potatoes and a vegetable of some kind. Likewise, she would have prepared a dessert. Dad would drive home for lunch and Linda and I would walk home from school. I can count on both hands the number of times that I ate at the school cafeteria. Strangely enough I looked at that as a treat but my classmates who dined there everyday would disagree. Back to the story. Halfway through the meal I announced that today was my final day at school. My mother promptly said that it wasn’t. This went back and forth a few times until Dad failed to see the humor and simply announced that we didn’t quit things, we finished them. Swallowing hard I could see that I was defeated but now I had to figure out something to say to my classmates when I got back to school. Of course, telling the truth would have been the correct course but it is so much easier to create a believable but unconfirmable lie. So by the time we went back to class, everybody in my circle of friends felt really sorry for my poor mother who had broken down in tears over the possibility that my life would go down the drain like an uncle who had not finished the second grade.

Third grade: “When you know something it may be best not to be a public-address system”. This was the final year of the lower section of grade school. We were the lords of our section of the playground and sacks of marbles measured our wealth. Once in awhile we would have homework but generally everything was accomplished within the regular school day. We had an arithmetic workbook and one day we were told to take the workbook home and complete an assignment for the next day. After supper that evening I felt rather grown up because I had homework just like my 6^th grader sister. After I finished the task I started looking at the workbook in greater detail only to discover that in the back of the book were sample tests that the students could take. There were two problems with that discovery. First, in addition to the tests there was an answer section and second, when I examined the sample tests they looked exactly like the tests we had been given in class. Looking back, I know that the correct thing to do would have included going to the teacher and pointing out my accidental discovery. However, I am a sinner and if you aren’t, cast the first stone. I couldn’t wait to get to school to share my wonderful discovery with EVERYONE in the entire class. Needless to say, the chicken came home to roost. On the next arithmetic test almost every person scored a 100. You could tell something was wrong when we came into the classroom the next morning. The teacher looked so ticked off. The first thing she wanted to know was how could all of her students could do so well on a test? I could have answered that, but I opted to keep my mouth shut. However, one of my classmates was quick to point out that Tommy had shown her the answers in the back of the workbook and that she felt really bad about it. My, my how the tide can turn. Just 24 hours ago she had told me that I was a hero. Well the wrath of the teacher soon followed. She went by every desk in the room and tore out the sample tests and answer sheets. She threw out the results of the test from the previous day and made us take another test. Since it was handwritten I can only assume that the hand of an angered woman wrote it. Even though things remained tense for a period, it did smooth out as we worked to move on to the 4^th grade. I think the incident helped me formulate my opinion about entrapment. 

Dad – The Early Years

My Dad, Frank Sharp, was not an ordinary man in fact I know that I am safe to describe him as a man for all seasons. He was born almost 110 years ago in Independence, Kansas to a couple who would be known as Grandpa and Grandma Sharp. He had three brothers John, Victor and Vernon. Vernon passed at an early age due to an enlarged spleen. Listening to Dad talk about the loss of his brother, I know this influenced some of his life decisions. After Vernon’s passing the family moved from Independence to a home site in Apache Valley just north of Clayton, New Mexico and on the south side of the Rabbit Ear Mountains. Initially the family lived in a dug out, but actual structures were soon constructed. Decades later Dad would stand at the crest of the mesa on the Clayton Lake road and look at the valley and mountains. Lost in his own world, he could have been riding the pure white horses through the tall grass or watching in wonder as his father negotiated the path to the house in their Model T. Grandpa Sharp or Ralph C. Sharp never mastered the braking system on the Model T so they had put a log in the barn, so the car could coast in and let Mother Nature stop it. He supported the family with his real estate business that extended from New Mexico down into Texas. Vowing “Good Dirt, Dirt Cheap”, I remember Dad pointing out various properties that his father had been involved in when we would travel from Clayton to Amarillo, Texas.

He loved to play tennis. Through years of practice, he developed a serve that was almost impossible to return. Likewise, his defense strategy concentrated on control of the ball. Everything was a lesson for him to convey. When I would play him, he would emphasize that if you could control the ball, you could control the game. It could have been a lecture in Machiavellian political philosophy. He would never let me win but in the few times that I did, the praise lasted a lifetime.     

He was ethical to a fault. I think he had an inner gauge of right and wrong. He would sacrifice for both what he believed was the right thing to do and to correct the littlest wrong. His word was his bond. The greatest example that I can think of was the fact that his mother was completely anti-alcohol and she pleaded with each of her three sons to sign a temperance pledge in the family Bible. Two signed and my father refused simply because he didn’t feel that he could absolutely honor that pledge. As it turned out, my two uncles did have problems with alcohol, my Dad did not.

He graduated from Clayton High School and headed to Norman, Oklahoma where he enrolled in the School of Medicine and joined the OU football team. The future seemed bright, but the forces of nature would re-chart the best laid plans. Due to the depression and the Dust Bowl, the money promised for tuition dried up and Dad was forced to return home. One day the pure white horses died in a dust storm and their blackened carcasses were buried near the home site. Soon the family moved into a house in Clayton that was furnished with projects that Dad built in high school. Grandpa Sharp’s real estate business continued, and Dad found work through the WPA that included sidewalks and the Clayton High School complex.

In the late thirties two major events occurred. Dad leased a gas station on Main Street and met a charming waitress at the NuWay Café. Ada Bell had moved into Clayton at the age of 16 from Sofia, NM. She worked at the café to support herself while she pursued her high school diploma. Upon graduation she continued working there as a waitress. I can only assume that his charm and wit impressed her because they were married on November 11^th of 1939 when he was 31 and she was 22. They worked together in their business until the day that changed the world forever, December 7, 1941.   

A LOVE STORY

          You could tell there was power, just by looking. His stance was solid and when he moved those around him deferred often in awkward clumsiness. On cold mornings, you could see the steam bellowing from his nostrils as he shook his massive head from side to side. Yet with the power, you could feel the loneliness that accompanied his position in the community. No one dared to talk directly to him. Eye contact was never made. Opposition did not exist even though challenges did humor him from time to time. This was his kingdom, his realm. Even his owner walked with caution around Elmer. There was an understanding of position. Hours were spent alone at the top of his hill. Elmer was a bull’s bull.

          Social ranks had been established within the community. First, of course, was Elmer followed in descending order by the eldest male dog, then the cattle, the sheep, the goats, the rest of the dogs, the cats, the chickens, the field mice, two transient hawks, a duck, the pigs and at the bottom, the farm frog, Irene.

          Irene, like other frogs, had begun her life as a little tadpole. Since she was not really noticeable, Irene demonstrated her shyness by not demonstrating her presence. In fact, there were members of the farm family that did not know that she even existed. For all practicable matters, many felt that the pigs were the lowest form of life and that was that. Consequently, Irene passed many a long day idly sitting on a Lilly pad in the middle of the farm pond. The cattle would come to get a drink and would never acknowledge her.

Fortunately, however, Irene did have one friend, the duck. Known as Quacker III. How they came up with Quacker III is anyone’s mystery. As far as anyone knew, Quacker III was the first and only duck that had ever graced this farm. Likewise, since there weren’t any other ducks around, it was doubtful that there would ever be a Quacker IV. Quacker III had met Irene by accident one spring day while out for his morning swim. Lost in his thoughts Quacker III failed to notice Irene on the Lilly pad and the collision caused quite a commotion. Irene was dumped into the water as Quacker III proceeded to entangle himself in the undergrowth. It was not until Irene dove deep into the pond waters to untie the roots from Quacker III’s feet that Quacker III was able to make his way to the shore. From that day forward the two of them could be found at the pond often discussing their world affairs and the personalities that made up their known environment.

Both of them questioned the positions that the two transient hawks held. After all they were no better than the other itinerant farm workers that came and went as the seasons passed. The most disturbing thing about the situation was that it was obvious that they were with egg and that could only mean more beaks to feed, fewer worms to till the soil and the noise day and night. Further, the unspoken fear was when you looked at the mom and dad you knew that these babies would break the “all babies are cute” rule.

Both Irene and Quacker III had had a run in with Billie the Goat. Sadly, Billie was almost blind and had to be helped around the farm normally by one of the dogs. But typical of his stubborn nature Billie would attempt to make it around on his own. As long as he would stay within his area, everything was fine. However, last week on one of his excursions Billie inadvertently ran into Quacker III. You can well imagine the response. Quacker III quacked, Billie started jumping around and Irene ended up between Billie’s hoof and the ground. The entire farmyard came alive. The dogs circled around Billie who could only tell who they were by their bark. The sheep in turn, came to Billie’s defense because of their closeness in nature and the fact that they remembered that years ago Billie had eaten all the tin cans in the sheep pin. The importance of that matter is that Elmer had told the sheep to either clean up their pin or decide which one of them would be forced to sing “Baa Baa Black Sheep” in front of the entire farm family. Since the sheep were known for their consistent monotone all of them knew that they would rather spend the night being counted by the owner than face the embarrassment of a solo concert.  It looked like the situation was at a stalemate but then Quacker III let out the loudest quack that had ever been heard in the farm. This caused Billie to jump and Irene was freed from under his hoof. Irene quickly hopped to Quacker III’s side. It was at this time that they all heard the distinctive and reverberating steps of Elmer as he descended from his hill. Everyone knew that trouble was on it’s way and they could only think of those days when what seemed innocent to them had somehow irked Elmer to the point of calling a Farm Council. A Farm Council was kind of like a criminal trail where you had to prove that you were innocent rather than the other way around. Irene had moved behind Quacker III’s web feet and started to weep real frog tears.

As Elmer entered the farm yard you could hear a pin drop. Except for Irene’s tiny sobs there was stone cold silence. Even the field mice had curtailed their usual mouse blabber.  Although he never said it, everyone knew just by his look that Elmer wanted to know the cause of all the ruckus and how it would come to an end. Since Quacker III played a major role in attracting Elmer’s attention all eyes moved to the duck. The intent, of course, was to direct Elmer’s cold stare away from them personally. So while Quacker III wasn’t a goose, the farm animals wanted his goose cooked rather than theirs. Elmer, of course, was used to this tactic and slowly walked through the grounds making direct eye contact with each of the animals. In the past this approach would reduce any defense a culprit might have, and the truth would flow out of their mouths like a river. Initially Elmer looked toward the transient hawks. Since they were the most recent arrivals they were naturally suspected of upsetting the domestic tranquility that normally prevailed. The two hawks held each other in a fear only known to other fowl and the husband had gently placed one of his wings over his wife’s belly who by this time was swollen with what might be a double yolk. Elmer could see that they had nothing to hide so he moved on to the dogs. The dogs of the farm came in a variety that could only be matched by an upper end pet store. It goes without saying that the eldest dog received an automatic pass but the preforming, seeing eye, and rescue dogs all were subjected to Elmer’s review. Not seeing any unusual movements among the dogs, he passed by them and the cats were cleared simply because they were standing next to the dogs without any appearance of hostility. Sadly because of limited attention span, the chickens, cattle, pigs, and the field mice had already resumed to their usual activities. Elmer had never really suspected any of them but an appearance of reverence, even for a short period, was good for law and order within the farm structure. Since Billie was basically one of the victims in the farm chaos, Elmer simply walked over to Billie and their noses touched in a sign of mutual respect. In Elmer’s mind this left only one viable suspect, the duck, Quacker III.

Frankly Quacker III could see the writing on the barn wall. He had been disturbed since childhood with visions of his demise. They ranged from being shipped to Peking to simply having the heebeegeebees squeezed out of him and being served as Cold Duck. As Elmer approached Quacker III felt that he had to say goodbye to Irene before the hoof came down. He stepped away from Irene, wiped the little frog tears with his wing from her green cheeks and just as he started to speak he could hear a distinctive bull gasp. Quacker III quickly looked at Elmer who appeared not only frozen but completely star struck. In Elmer’s mind the thoughts were running amuck. He had never seen such dazzling brown eyes coupled with the most symmetrical legs he had ever perceived. He knew all of this was simply crazy because things like this never happened. His owner had introduced him to many potential mates but after one date the farm gate was always shut. On top of everything else, this was a frog. But since love is never logical Elmer found himself conversing with Irene and even though there was an obvious language difference they understood each other completely. Irene was equally smitten. She automatically turned on that hidden frog charm and started hopping between Elmer’s hoofs, but it was only to tease Elmer.

Quacker III was completely confused. Only minutes ago, he was having thoughts of seeing all of his relatives who had flown to the pond in the sky but now his best friend and the ruler of the farm were playing like baby goats in the park. Fortunately, Elmer and Irene maintained enough sense to realize that their meeting and relationship would have never happened if it hadn’t been for Quacker III’s resounding quack. Turning to Quacker III they, in their unique ways, ask him to join them in a march around the farm to announce the inconceivable new order in this farm’s affairs. Sitting proudly between Elmer’s massive horns and with Quacker III waddling proudly by their side, Irene greeted the farm animals with the style and dignity of the finest royalty the world had ever seen.

From that day forward Elmer was a new bull. Each of the animals could freely approach him and every day he would spend at least an hour at the pond while Irene sunbathed. Irene was no longer shy and would happily serve as hostess for all of the official farmyard functions. Likewise, Quacker III replaced the eldest male dog as Elmer’s closest confidant and adviser. In all the valley one could not find a more peaceful farm. It was united in understanding, forgiveness and a true testament that love at first sight is true and real. 

The Backyard

When I look back at my childhood I realize that to a certain degree my parents had, through hard work and frugal management provided me and my sister with the American dream of a childhood home. Dad had constructed, literally from scratch, a playground that was the envy of the neighborhood. It included a self-propelled merry-go-round, swings, a glider, a slide and a teeter todder. The trees were large enough to build tree houses in and my sister had a bona fide play kitchen at the back of the yard. It was attached to an apartment Dad had constructed for my Grandmother on my Mother’s side. Likewise, an old tractor tire served not only as a sand box, but the neighborhood cats properly relieved themselves there. For that reason, we would rake the sand box to eliminate the more solid waste but after that the germs had a field day. For some reason my mother would always “encourage” a bath when we came in from backyard. They had a concrete slab poured that was large enough to create a small basketball court that later would double as a dance floor for parties.  Surrounding the yard and the exterior of the fence my mother maintained a variety of flowers that would often grace the dining room table during the spring, summer and early fall months. Always thinking of the most efficient way to do things, Dad created concrete barriers around every flower bed. This accomplished two things. First, it allowed one to water the entire flower bed without the need to continuously move the water and second, I was able to mow the lawn with virtually no need to trim the grass. The yard was encased by a white metal picket fence. The fence was so strong that it literally stopped a line drive that I hit during a backyard baseball game. Later, Dad had to pry it out because the ball was lodged halfway between two of the pickets.

After my Grandmother passed away when I was 6 years old, my parents decided to rent the apartment. The tenants ranged from a woman who was recovering from a nervous breakdown to a high school coach to a rancher’s twin daughters who lived there for their senior year. I think the twins were my favorite tenants simply because they would come out and toss oranges back and forth between the three of us so that we could make orange juice. When the oranges were perfect we would get “juiced” in the backyard.

Early Entertainment

It was a different time in America. We actually had sidewalks that served the art of walking, wagon dragging, bicycle and tricycle riding.  The sidewalks had been there for years and were often uneven from the overgrowth of roots from the Chinese Elms that lined the streets of the small town that served as my introduction to this world. Saturday mornings were usually spent at my maternal grandmother’s apartment that my Dad had built on the back of our property. We would watch Roy Rogers, Dale Evans, The Lone Ranger and any other westerns that could be received by antenna from the televisions stations that were one hundred thirty-five miles away. Of course, the shows were in black, white and snow but with my trained eye I could imagine myself taking part in the taming of the Wild West. That segment of my life ended when my Grandmother passed when I was 6 years old. Since we didn’t have a TV we would, on occasion, go over to a family friend’s house to watch Disney’s Wonderful World of Color on Sunday night.

From that time on the early Saturday mornings where spent by the radio listening to a variety of children’s radio programs. There were usually biblically based, and they came from faraway places like Kalamazoo, Michigan and Chicago, Illinois. Another standard was the Wednesday night Salvation Army Hour that lasted thirty minutes. I ask my Dad why they called it an hour and he explained the meaning of “poetic license”. After lunch my sister and I would walk to the library to pick up the next week’s supply of reading materials. Linda was kind of a book worm who would even read under the blankets with a flashlight late into the nights. Generally, my interests included history, biographies, and political novels. These were left to read until the sun had set because during the daylight I was constantly building and rebuilding project after project. My Dad had given me all of the wood that he had used for concrete forms and a can of used nails. Initially I had to straighten out the nails from the last project and then I would draw the plans in my Big Chief tablet and then proceed to build a variety of things that ranged from boxes to gallows complete with a trap door in memory of Black Jack Ketchum. For some reason my Mother didn’t appreciate the gallows. During the winter months more, time was spent reading or practicing the art of marble playing. 

The Family Reunion

Every year at Christmas time my mother’s family would gather at our home for the “Bell Family Reunion”. She had eleven brothers and sisters and since the family believed in being fruitful and multiplying we would have close to sixty guests for the multi-day festivities. Approximately, a week before each gathering my father would visit with each of our neighbors to forewarn them and to humbly ask if we could use part of their trash cans (in the alley) because the consumption of Coors beer would be staggering. Of course, we had one tea-toting neighbor who would annually give permission for any kind of non-alcohol trash but simply refused to allow a beer can in her garbage. After enduring the annual temperance lecture my father would assure her that he would personally examine the trash before it left our house.

The family reunion also served as a great learning tool. Apparently one of my personality flaws is that I would badger people, usually against their better judgement, into doing things they normally would not do. This was definitely the case surrounding my first and only use of snuff. My Uncle Fred had always dipped snuff. At the reunion of my 5^th year I would continually ask Uncle Fred for a “pinch” of what had to be a miracle concoction. Finally, he gave in and to the best of my knowledge, within seconds after the snuff hit my tongue I was running through the house screaming for water. A lesson learned.

With the number of children in the family the Christmas Eve present opening event would last for hours. Likewise, we always had a visit from Santa Claus. Uncle Fred always had car trouble on Christmas Eve and would miss the event. Anyway, this is the story that they gave us until the year that Uncle Fred exceeded his tolerance level for great quantities of beer and ended up on our roof looking for a chimney to slide down. Since we didn’t have a fireplace the angry Santa didn’t play close attention to the fact that we had a rather steep roof and he slipped and fell off the roof into my mother’s flower bed. A disheveled Santa stumbled into the house with a string of colorful words coming from his mouth. In what seemed like a few seconds he was led back to his sleigh by several of my uncles as Uncle Floyd explained to us that since Santa had so many houses to get to that night he could only make a brief appearance at our place. Soon with the gifts flowing around the room the Santa incident was out of our minds for the rest of the reunion. On the 26^th the families started pulling out to return to their homes that ranged from Texas to Illinois to Colorado to other towns in New Mexico. 

The Great Fire

When the founding fathers laid out the plat of my home town they were men of great vision. The streets were wide, every block was precisely square and through the middle of each city block ran an alley approximately twenty feet wide. No one really owned it, but it served the purpose of a location for trash cans and all sorts of activity for an inventive child. It was an area of freedom because fences and building usually blocked the view of the alley from any parent. As a part of garage disposal, prior to any clean air acts, we were allowed to burn the trash and a part of my duties around the house was to carry the trash out and start a fire in our 55-gallon metal drum that served as the major trash can. Since I had to start a fire in the drum I was allowed to take two matches with me to start the fire. One morning it only took one match to start the trash fire, so I put the other match in my pocket and went on with my business. Much later in the day while playing in the alley I noticed a stack of limbs leaning against a neighbor’s fence and I thought to myself, that would certainly make a great fire. Remembering that I had a match in my pocket I proceeded to start a small fire within the limbs. To my surprise the fire almost instantly grew to a roaring blaze and the neighbor’s fence was completely on fire. I immediately ran around the corner and jumped into the sand box that we had in the back yard and acted like I had been there all along. It seemed like minutes and I heard the fire truck sirens approaching my neighborhood. The fire was quickly extinguished and only the fence was destroyed. Later in the evening my father asked me to walk with him out to the alley, so we could look at the results of the fire. I really didn’t want to go with him but there really wasn’t a way out of it. When we got out there he asked me if I knew who started the fire and without missing a beat I said that I didn’t have any idea. He then said, “Well I’m glad you don’t because I sure wouldn’t want to have a son who would be involved in something as terrible as this.” WOW, that was all he said and that was all he did but, that cut me to the quick. Unfortunately, I did not step up and take responsibility for the fire and his words haunted me for the next twenty-five years. On my thirtieth birthday I couldn’t take it anymore, so I asked my father if he remembered the fire that destroyed the Gonzalez’s fence. He said yes, he certainly did. I then said, “Dad, I set that fence on fire.” He responded by saying, “Yes, I knew you did, I just wondered how long it would take for you to let me know.” That was the worse punishment I ever received!